


Mirror, Mirror

by silverskyfullofstars



Category: Sherlock (TV), Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, but not really, edited fairy tale, fairy tale crack, sherlock crack, sort of an RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 08:38:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11802450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverskyfullofstars/pseuds/silverskyfullofstars
Summary: My brain, after a long day of doing homework, decided at 8:30 pm to write a ridiculous crack fic in which the magic mirror from Snow White doesn't show the Queen exactly what she expects...Rated Teen & Up because the mirror drops the f-bomb like five times.





	Mirror, Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> Please excuse my crappy editing with the cover, it was dark and I was tired and lazy. Also, note that I've only read the original fairy tale of Snow White, so besides "borrowing" the image for the cover from the 1937 movie, I didn't really take that much inspiration from it.

 

“Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?”

“Fucking Benedict Cumberbatch with his fucking eyes and his fucking lips and his fucking curls and his fucking cheekbones.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s what the people of the kingdom are saying, Your Highness. They all got so excited that their princess was so much prettier than their queen, but then this bastard shows up and blows them all out of the water.”

“What? They love Snow White more than me?”

“Well, she is really pretty… but no, they like this guy now. I think somebody petitioned to make him king, but somebody else threw a bagel at them. I guess you still have supporters. Can’t imagine why…”

“Rude. I’m the queen, I can always smash you. Now, why is this Sadistic Cucumber man so attractive?”

“It’s Benedict Cumberbatch, Your Majesty, and I’m pretty sure it’s 50% because of the cheekbones.”

“I have amazing cheekbones too, though.”

“That’s true, but what about your eyes? His look like galaxies.”

“And mine resemble emeralds!”

“Fine. What about lips? I doubt you could find anyone else with a cupid’s bow like that.”

“Except the person who STARES INTO YOU EVERY DAY.”

“Alright, alright! What about hair?”

“What?”

“Look at his curls! I’m not even sure I’ve ever seen your hair.”

“That’s… that’s unfair! I cover my hair because its magnificence would blind you and all my subjects!”

“Fine. Here’s the thing, though - he’s super nice.”

“So am I!”

“Have you ever been called a sweetheart? A cutie? A  _ cinnamon roll _ ?”

“No! No, I have never been called any of those strange names! Fine, I concede! He just might be the handsomest person ever.”

“Ha!”

“Here’s the thing, though. I asked you who the fairest was.”

“Fine. It’s that recluse girl in the village, the one who camps out in the library. Her skin is so pale, I bet it’s never seen the sun. The girl needs some extra-strength sunscreen, I swear.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then you need to be more specific. By the way, Snow White is still prettier than you.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”


End file.
